You have been drinking all night and that guy at the bar is giving you the eye and you are giving him all the right signals. He comes up to you and you guys strike up a conversation, he’s pushing all the right buttons and you love the attention as the night is drawing to an end, he puts the hard word on you. What about coming back to my place.
You don’t hesitate and before you know it your in his apartment and you have no bra or knickers on and you are going for it. You awake in the morning, thinking what did I do last night: did we use condoms, is he safe or has he given me something or worse could I have been exposed to HIV.
I DON’T EVEN KNOW THIS GUY.
This is not an uncommon scenario with the data indicating that young women who consume alcohol at harmful levels greater than 4 drinks in one session can predispose themselves to experiencing a potentially harmful sexual situation; that may have devastating consequences most of which won’t go away just by sleeping it off. These may include; an unwanted pregnancy, an STI that you may be stuck with for life and an increased chance of infertility that may occur from a chronic sexually transmitted infection.
Look for the signs: if you have been drinking or have taken drugs this is not the right time or the place to have sex with anyone. Mixing drugs and alcohol with sex can have disastrous consequences on you. You are more likely to have unsafe sex, which can lead to an unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.
You just can’t make the right decisions when it comes to safe sex when you are under the influence.
Think: before you consider any sexual relationship; you have to ask some hard questions of yourself and about the partner you are about to have sex with.
Why am I going to have sex with a stranger?
Could he be carrying a sexually transmitted disease or worse could he have aids
Why would I have unprotected sex and put myself at risk is it worth it.
Have I had too much to drink or to much drug on board to make an informed and sensible decision.
Take Action: the most powerful word that you can use when you are under the influence of alcohol and drugs is NO. If the person that is interested in you is sincere they will look you up when you are not under the influence and you can then make a judgement call based on all your senses.
If you do end up in their apartment you can still use that power word NO. NO I don’t want to have sex. Stop I want to leave. No I am in no condition to do this.
No one can force you to do anything you don’t really want to do.
Protecting your mate
Prevention is always better than cure so before you go out have a plan. Let your mates and even mum and dad know what you are doing and where you will be. Always have a mate with you that can watch your back; tell them if you intend to have sex or that you don’t intend to have sex. I know that you can’t always predict what you are going to do and in most cases it will depend on the situation; don’t forget that alcohol and drugs alter your perception and give you that extra confidence, that in some cases will make you feel invincible or even bullet proof. Remember that’s the alcohol this is not reality.
Have a Buddy system
Have a buddy system when you go out and stick to it; a concerned mother told me that she has set up a buddy system for her teenage daughter when she goes out and that it has worked for her daughter and her family so far;
“…Mums buddy system:
they always go out in Pairs they stay aware of each others movements and a 10 min missing in action alarm. No-one is left solo. And no one goes home with any stranger no matter what.
It’s worked so far…”
In an Emergency: if you find that you have made the wrong decision make contact with someone that can get you out of it: mum and dad are reliable and they will do anything for you, a trusted girl friend and in an emergency 000 call for the police.
Before going out anywhere let someone know where you are going and where you are during the night have a person on standby that can get you help if it is needed.
Look after your mates they are fore ever